“Two women Jack…at the same time? What are you, Italian?”

“You give me 10 minutes with the Lemon family, and I’ll have them tearing at each other like drag queens at a wig sale.”

“Oh, for crying out loud, Liz. You see, that’s what feminism does. It makes smart girls with nice birthing shapes believe in fairy tales. Stop waiting for your prince, Liz.”

“Let’s all meet down at the soda shop while this country turns into Mexico.”

“Is she drunk Jack? Because remember, when you’re pregnant, one bottle of wine a day. That’s it.”