Based on a press release sent to me early this morning, the answer may be yes.
Listen, I’m all about the bacon. When cooked properly, it’s the most magical thing ever. Exhibit A– BaconOff.
However, the latest bacon-inspired products may be a bit disturbed.
I give you…Bacon Condoms. The press release actually says, “Make Your Meat Look Like Meat with Bacon Condoms™”
The thing that concerns me the most is that this sentence needs to be trademarked. Ew.
Here’s what the press release says:
Bacon Condoms Make Your Meat Look Like Meat. Truly the new standard of animal protein themed prophylactics Bacon Condoms are proudly Made in America of the highest quality latex and rigorously tested to help ensure the utmost reliability and safety for when you’re makin’ Bacon. And as an added bonus, each Bacon Condom has been generously coated with J&D’s baconlube™, an ultra premium Bacon flavored personal lubricant.
Did you just throw up?? I think I did.
The company is also releasing a new sunscreen.
Science has shown us that 10 out of 10 people prefer the smell of Bacon to coconut, which makes this the most anticipated new product of the summer. Bacon Sunscreen is enriched with SPF 30 and rich, porky moisturizers. It’s designed to keep even the most delicate skin protected from harmful UV rays and smelling like something delicious is cooking for several hours. Please note that while pigs are not natural prey for sharks, we can’t guarantee that they won’t be ravenously hungry after smelling you.
Obviously there is a market for bacon products and I do support that. However, has it gone too far? The company itself does make some interesting products that I would try. Here’s more from their press release:
Headquartered in Seattle, Washington, J&D’s Foods manufactures Bacon Salt®, Malt Salt™, Ketchup Salt™, Bacon Rub™, Baconnaise®, Cajunnaise™, BaconPOP®, Sriracha Popcorn™, Bacon Ranch™, Bacon Gravy™, Bacon Croutons™, Blue Cheese Croutons™, Tomato Basil Croutons™, baconlube™, Bacon Lip Balm™, Sriracha Lip Balm™, Bacon Soda™, Bacon Coffins™, Bacon Baby™, BaconAir™, Mmmvelopes™
So what do you think…would you try either of these?? If not, anything else on this list you’d like to try? Please people…let’s respect the bacon.
Ew, thanks for not forwarding that picture to me! That is disgusting. And the bacon sunblock? So you can smell like bacon while sizzling in the sun? No thanks, I’m already a magnet for mosquitoes, I don’t need to draw the attention of zombies, etc. You called it, bacon has jumped the shark.
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